𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫π₯𝐲(@pearlylondon) 's Twitter Profileg
𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫π₯𝐲

@pearlylondon

My mum always insists she doesn't have a 'favourite' child.

Which is pretty upsetting because i haven't got any brothers or sisters.

ID:749252172492185600

calendar_today02-07-2016 14:43:33

37,5K Tweets

68,1K Followers

3,2K Following

Kat Arney(@Kat_Arney) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I know it's a running joke that dads are obsessed with turning the thermostat down, but I'm currently living in my parents' house because my dad is unwell and he fiddled with the thermostat using his phone app FROM HOSPITAL.

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𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫π₯𝐲(@pearlylondon) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Emmerdale has always had some far-fetched storylines, but this one where the character gets to see an NHS hospital consultant 24hrs after being referred has got to be the most unbelievable ever.

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Lucy(@LMAsaysno) 's Twitter Profile Photo

can’t get my head around skiing holidays. going abroad to be cold and fall over? no thanks. also it’s tory

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𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫π₯𝐲(@pearlylondon) 's Twitter Profile Photo

To all the retailers sending me emails declaring 'There is still time to grab a bargain!'

I just checked my bank balance mate and can confirm, there fucking isn't.

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𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫π₯𝐲(@pearlylondon) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Word of advice: Do NOT drink whilst wrapping Christmas presents.

Also, if anyone gets the gift of a pair of black framed spectacles from me, I’m going to need them back, please. πŸŽ„

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𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫π₯𝐲(@pearlylondon) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I've made some terrible mistakes in my life, but I've never chosen a packet of prawn cocktail flavour crisps as part of my meal deal, so there's that.

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𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫π₯𝐲(@pearlylondon) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Me & my husband can sit in silence all evening then the moment I step foot into another room in the house he will shout something inaudible through to me & I will shout back that I can't hear him & he will shout back that 'It doesn't fucking matter.'

Stay single kids.

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𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫π₯𝐲(@pearlylondon) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Hey, Matt Hancock take your fucking lies and fuck off, and when you get there fuck off again, keep fucking off till you get to a gate with a sign on saying no fucking off beyond this point, climb over that gate and live the dream by continuing to fuck off.

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Danny Wallace(@dannywallace) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Getting a peerage these days is like getting a blue tick.
You have to pay for it and there’s a high chance you’re an idiot.

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