It’s not hayfever, it’s actually an allergic reaction to cunts That feel the need to strim their bushes and mow their lawns in teeny tiny grotesque muscle vests with their armpit pubes hanging out listening to Rod cunty Stewart as soon as the fucking sun shines

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth after winning a bar of fucking soap on the postcode lottery, but I reckon It smells just as bad as the back seat of the car Narinder kaur was airing her minge on

Before you have a go, not all middle aged men but just 100% of you road raging bastards …. Morning folks

don’t mind council tax going up as love paying the cunts to not maintain roads, zero street lights when I’m walking home alone, bins never collected, libraries that nobody fucking goes to and as for maintaining the local parks, they are littered with strongbow cans and dog shit

I reckon if you borrow money and don’t pay it back you’re a fucking thief, but if you borrow money, don’t pay it back and post photos of you on holiday in Tenerife then that makes you a fucking chavvy cock sucking cunty thief.. there’s a massive difference 👍👍 just saying

Is is too much to ask my fucking neighbours to stop mowing their lawns every Bloody Sunday, 5 minutes in the garden and my eyes look like they’ve been poked by a bag of dicks infested with genital warts

The best thing about having to sit through coronation street is the advert for tena lady incontinence pads, reminding us old cunts we have no bladder control

I absolutely love it when my tweets trigger the lemsip snorting wankstains

My beautiful fur babies… ♥️ #NationalPetDay

What’s better a woman that can make you laugh or a women that looks good ?

Today I’ve wiped my own arse, been to work, cleaned my house, fem freshed
My clunge, sunk a pint at the pub , cleaned up my dogs fozzas and now listening to my neighbour balls deep in Sarah 🥴🥴🥴

Prefer the term “pavement princess”

Thanks for all the birthday love, just recovered.. wanted to leave this little fact for ya 🤣🤣🤣🤣

45 years ago today my mum flopped me out her clunge in the hospital carpark followed by a massive turd, and that’s how this legend was born 🎉🎁🎈🎂🥳

🤣🤣🤣

If you get triggered by a tweet and can’t scroll past without leaving a cunty comment I reckon you smell like piss and have genital warts

🤣🤣🤣

If women are from Mars
And men are from Venus
I assume those other genders
Are pulled outta Uranus