I live in a Tory stronghold so I'm pleased to see someone out with this,🎄

Ding dong the witch has gone!
Don't let the door hit you on your way out you odious bitch.

Private Eye nails it

Noticing that Instagram was too nicey-nicey, Zuck has launched threads, a bird alternative.
Launched today, how long will it take to become a cesspit of bigotry, hate and ill-educated idiots? #Threads

Tory MP mocking someone for mental health struggles. And to think RW throbbers like Soapy or Crafty will QT responses to this bollocks to have a pop at the left? They can all get in the bin. Conservatives surely this conduct falls well below what you'd expect?

Standing at the NEC for a couple of days. Got a potential client to sit down for a chat. I'm to sit opposite over the table. I sat down too quick and sat on one of the boys. Right opposite some bloke I'd never met, trying to impress and I'm crying and whimpering. FML 😭😭😂

This is probably the angriest film I’ve ever made & I make no excuses for my rage - this is a make-or-break moment for parliamentary democracy - where is UK media? I won’t just stand by whilst this Government strips us of our liberties - if you’re with me please RT this widely

Fecking NASA!

Hey Twitter! So does anyone know where I am?

Living in a terrace betwixt old folk I've been used to peace. Only peep I heard was a bit of C& W music from one side's bathroom on a Sunday night (must have been bath night). Now have a younger neighbour who for the last hour has been having very loud but joyful sex. Jammy Git.

Dominic Raab -
Accused of bullying.
Denies being a bully.
Report finds he is a bully.
He resigns but delivers his resignation aggressively, like a bully would.
Seems the cap fits.
What a prick.

Thought of the day

Morning Twitter! Just letting you all know you need to have a good day today. It's the law because it's my birthday. Not just any birthday but my 50th. Half a bastard century. I'll be in the corner with a bottle of vodka crying through the cake 😁😭😁😭🎂😭😁😭🍻

#wherestheproftoday

Sad news. My obese parrot died today.
It is however, a huge weight off my shoulders.

Dear Facebook , please stop aggregating responses in your notifications. 'Bill, Dave and Sarah mentioned you in their comments' but clicking through will only take me to Bill. How do I tell Dave and Sarah they are tossers?