Dropped Mike (@rebrafsim )

Dropped Mike

Bio twitter.com/search?q=from:… header by @dave_cactus
Location around
Tweets 33,9K
Followers 9,5K
Following 988
Account created 17-04-2009 15:22:32
ID 32444665

iPhone : Kool-Aid Man: *breaks thru wall* OHH YEAHH
Me: dude that’s the 4th wall you broke today
Kool-Aid Man: *turns and winks at camera* ohh yeahh

iPhone : Friend Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?
Me: i have no idea what he's for

iPhone : Me: happy anniversary!

Wife: *eyes narrow*

Me: what

Wife: I just think it would be more romantic if you didn't say that every morning just in case

iPhone : Hostess: how many in your party?

Me: eight

Hostess: do you want a booth?

Me: I think we’re gonna need two beeth

Hostess: I just remembered we’re fully booked forever

iPhone : Hostess: how many in your party?

Me: eight

Hostess: do you want a booth?

Me: I think we’re gonna need two beeth

Hostess: I just remembered we’re fully booked forever

iPhone : My kids have started removing one letter of bad words, so they can call each other names and not get in trouble.

So, I've decided to add one digit to the wifi password until they can be nice to each other.

Your move itches

iPhone : Me: What's the wifi password?

Barman: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.

Barman: Is Pepsi okay?

Me: Sure. How much is that?

Barman: £3.

Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?

Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.