Rob’s Limericks (@rick_limer )

Rob’s Limericks

Bio Topical Limericks.
Location North West, England
Tweets 80
Followers 53
Following 165
Account created 27-03-2020 13:21:32
ID 1243528539984592899

iPhone : Trump says the number of cases,
Should bring a smile to faces,
Don’t hide under a shroud,
The US can be proud,
The virus is off to the races.

#BadgeOfHonor #TrumpDeathToll92K

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iPhone : I think we should have a blast,
At calling “new normal” something that’ll last,
It might be pleasant,
To call it the present,
And “old normal” could be called the past.

youtu.be/nirr5CvseNI
#W1A Hugh Bonneville

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iPhone : While Brits have been at home stewing,
There’s one thing we’ve really missed doing,
The Big Mac with cheese,
Is sure to please,
But mostly we’ve missed out on queuing.

#McDonalds #COVID19

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iPhone : Of course he’s not a sleaze,
Old Trump-y’s such a tease,
The canny old fox,
Is poppin’ the hydrox,
He’s as smart as Socrates.

#Hydroxychloroquine
#Trump #Covid_19

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iPhone : Some things to do to defeat the disease,
That’s taken over the world starting with the Chinese,
Keep your kids in a ring,
Disinfect everything,
And eat piles of Stilton cheese.

#COVID19 #lockdown2020
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan…

iPhone : Eurovision will not be outdone,
It’s still on but just for fun,
There’ll be no scoring,
Graham’s wine will be pouring,
And you could say Iceland have already won...

#Eurovision #ShineALight
#Iceland graham norton

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iPhone : South Korea’s response was strong,
Virus control has not taken long,
The US has been weak,
And Trump had the cheek,
To suggest testing is causing the throng.

#TrumpHasNoPlan
#TrumpMeltdown

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iPhone : From a friend - feel free to suggest an end line...

There was a young rhymer called Rob,
He considered resigning his job,
He’d rather write ditties,
About vaginas and titties,
_[add own ending in knob line here]_.

iPhone : There once was gangster called Snoop,
Who listened to Frozen on loop,
Sat alone in his ride,
It made him decide,
To sing ballads and join a new boyband group.

#SnoopDogg #Frozen

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iPhone : Seems Twitter have all had the thrill,
Of accidentally bumping into Bill,
Once at the gym,
He brushed past my limb,
And we had a quickie on the treadmill.

#BillNighy
#didnthappen
#MundaneCelebrityEncounters

iPhone : There once was a chap called Jeff,
Who left the high street in a bit of a mess,
But he does need a trillion,
How else could a reptilian,
Hook up with the beautiful Sanchez.

#JeffBezos

iPhone : Golfers can go back to their fun,
A nice walk with some clubs in the sun,
So grab a mini pencil for scores,
And a spare pair of plus-fours,
In case you get a hole in one.

#golfisback #golf

iPhone : If I were a Trump maligner,
I’d oppose his grabbing vagina,
But one thing that annoys,
Is his throwing his toys,
And the way he pronounces “China”.

#TrumpMeltdown
#TrumpPressConference

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iPhone : Zuckerberg try’s to pretend,
Freedom of speech does depend,
On racism being allowed,
But we know it’s just a shroud,
It’s to make billions for him to spend. 🤑
#BeKind twitter.com/IanWright0/sta…