My quirk is I dance to Paramore’s “Misery Business” like I’m Keyshia Cole dancing to SZA performing “Love Galore” live at the 2017 BET Awards

“Goodbye” even though Geri wasn’t on it

Starting The Wire for the first time:

Permanent save

Finding parking at Trader Joe’s in under 3 minutes?

So for the next 10 days the dates will be the same backwards and forward. 😱

I wore my platform thong sandals into the ground last Summer. No regrets, just Ananda Lewis cowgirl looks to compensate for the depression.

Any romantic relationship I had between the ages 18-25 is considered an unpaid internship where I learned how to not get exploited before my frontal lobe developed. It’s the best time to explore those silly, compulsive feelings that you later reference in a standup comedy set

When the person you rejected is also at the function

CALL US IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION
713-523-0800
713-869-1241

The fact that I’m a morning person

Since Ai is changing music, can someone produce a Shakira cover of the 1998 chart-topping hit, Fastball- “The Way”?

The worst feeling was when you’re the last one left and they make you go call your folks from the office. Like sorry, I was your responsibility, Deborah.

As another friend put it, one of the funniest things you can do if executed well is waste time on TV, especially when you only have like 11 min

The part of me that wants to see what that toxic sludge is hittin’ on

My upstairs neighbor wears Demonias as house shoes, cause ain't no way she letting me have peace when she's home.

Using my biannual opinion tweet on this: I really think everybody could just stop having these conversations all together and keep whatever you’re doing with whoever to yourself and everything would be great.

It’s Selena Day, tho