We made wolves into dogs but we could have made octopuses into chefs

#LA #WeHo Your favorite Roomies are back for some April Foolishness!!

MON 4/1: Nori Reed Clowns of Color Sophie Santos Jamie Shriner (in from Chicago!) and Sam Oh join Dylan Adler & S A M M Y !

8p Doors 8:30 Show at Bar Lubitsch
Tix: eventbrite.com/e/roomies-in-h…

Me and mortal enemy and former Greenpoint Brooklyn roommate S A M M Y are hosting a new show in LA 😈😈❤️

im just saying if everyone was full gay for one generation it'd fix overpopulation

The NFL said stay relevant and Usher said give me rollerblades

a guy I’m dating just made me cum in 25 seconds and said i think im getting too powerful

grateful to be gay every time i see those horny singles in ur area porn ads. imagine not knowing that 🥺

Let’s go 69ers

nice gay friends might make u a better person but mean gay friends will you make dress better

talked to someone for hours before realizing he was hot. what is that?

when i say im into older guys ppl are like u should watch call me by your name. i finally did and the 'older guy' is 24.

we are not the same.

my mom tried to say transgender and said ambidextrous

cocain bear should have been a porno

ever been halfway through a sentence and then realize you have no idea what you’re talking about but for some reason decide to double down and then somehow it works out and you say a coherent sentence? i think that's crowd work

Anyone else put headphones on then forget to play music or have i unlocked a new achievement?

im so good at flirting with 6s

COMEDY PICK OF THE WEEK: One of New York’s finest is gracing the stage at @fiercebarmcr tonight for a midweek treat as S A M M Y brings his latest tour show ‘Sugar Daddy’ to town...

manchesterwire.co.uk/guide/comedy-o…

Curing your Sunday Scaries with a host of epic comedy shows opening at ours this week 🙌🎉

Olga Koch FOC IT UP! UK 🥳 Kool Story Bro KSB S A M M Y

sohotheatre.com/dean-street/