Once upon a time, in a little house in the woods...

you can't even govern your majority bro

boss: you’re fired

me: [like a movie director] CUT…CUT… ok try again but this time don’t say that

It’s a mixed bag being an independent contractor: will I finally get paid today? If I fall off a ladder and am writhing on the ground, will passersby think I’m David Byrne? At what temperature does the human heart melt? & etc etc…

We experience this dark passage towards the Light, together

Shoutout to fiestaware – sturdy dishes that remain whole in spite of all the abuse they’ve taken over the years

I am physically tired but mentally I am thinking of weird ways to say the word literature.

I just wanna live long enough to be arrested by a robot

put that fucking onus where it belongs

me: pass me that book, Mark

Mark: no. i don’t wanna lose my place

me: well maybe u should invent something that saves your place in a book, Mark

Mark: u mean like a place-holder or a page-keeper or a spot-returner or a

I could never be a salesman. I’d be like nothing will make you happy.

At some point, Tommy wrote on the back of this shingle that 3/8ths red cedars were $10/bundle. I can only imagine he wrote this sometime during the American Revolution

Everything is a big deal to kids, like the time a giant bird took my dad from the beach and dropped him way out in the water.

there’s nothing sadder than wilted lettuce . ok, maybe losing your job or getting divorced or stubbing your toe, but, still, wilted lettuce. c’mon

we've come full circle; all these corporate apps and digital services can be replaced by one chicago bookie and a giant chalkboard

[first time camping] where can i find naturally occurring shots of fireball

Not so much wistful as wist adjacent

She looked like the kind of gal who had very few spiderwebs in the back of her bass amp, if I may be so bold.

The only thing holding back my mini-golf game is my excellent long-game.