I like day drinking because it leads to night drinking

This is the first ballistic missile interception in outer space.

Lens Crafters would make billions if they sold special edition eclipse glasses and sponsored the #SolarEclipse

the most indolent person you know is in therapy rn being told napping is self care

i have an earthquake in my pants

Just paid 5 Guys $15 for a cheeseburger and small drink. No fries.

I just bought a box of Lucky Charms for 8.50. What is happening when a box of cereal is almost 10 dollars. 🫣

There is not a SINGLE church in the whole of Saudi Arabia.
But there are Ramadan lights going up in central London.
Let that sink in.

Don’t look away until every last hostage is returned.

Post your 10 bands you’ve obsessed about at some point in your life…

1) Grateful Dead
2) Smashing Pumpkins
3) Dire Straits
4) Rush
5) Soundgarden
6) Widespread Panic
7) Wu Tang Clan
8) Phish
9) Tribe Called Quest
10) Metallica

Every Muslim extremist watched the war between Hamas and Israel very closely

They wanted to see if the West would support Israel’s fight against Islamic fundamentalism - or if Hamas would be rewarded with calls for a Palestinian state and a ceasefire to protect them

They saw…

Everyone is acting like the US doesn’t already have nuclear satellite killers in space.

Anti-Israel protesters try to fight the police in New York City

Anti-Israel protesters celebrate after punching a Jewish man in the face in Brooklyn, New York City today

Hamas’s ceasefire deal is once again “give us back all the terrorists so we can once again terrorize you, except this time, even worse”

And people on Twitter are like “this is completely reasonable and doable 👏🏻 “

Socialism is the fire department saving your house. Capitalism is the insurance company denying your claim.

'OK Palestinians we have an offer for you.'

'Yes?'

'You get your very own state...'

'Yes?'

'With all of Jerusalem as its capital.'

'Yes? Yes?'

'Plus your own army.'

'YES?'

'And we'll even throw in a free weekend stay at any Four Seasons.'

'YES? YES? YES?'

'And, one…

Just assume all street drugs are mixed with Fentanyl. Powder and pills. And also? Stop buying drugs off the street.

Looks like war with Iran tomorrow morning. 🇺🇸