open.spotify.com/track/7vggqxNK…

You know what sucks?

Feeling like you’re in a million iddy biddy pieces all day every day, but you’re so used to throwing on a happy strong face to keep everyone else together that you struggle to process your own feelings.. so instead those feelings rise to the surface in…

What should I watch?

Sit on the patio and watch the storm roll in?

I might actually be having my midlife crisis or something. Which is weird, because I’d prefer menopause hit at the same freaking time.

Moves my panties to the side so you can get a better view of my new drawer liner

Sir, your wit is that of a drunken lobotomized squirrel with no friends.

Well, a draw is better than an L I suppose.

Well, this shit isn’t going well. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

The sexiest thing a toaster can do is have four slots.

Be with someone who tells you 'I promise to take your pain seriously. If it hurts you, it matters to me.'

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

At McDonalds looking at the menu through opera binoculars.

Let me be your lap dog

You’re the pretty moments in my head

People who say 'there's always a bigger fish' will eventually be caught in a lie