If Bonnie Tyler doesn’t have any gigs today she should just hang it up.

Had a great time on A Typical Disgusting Display. Huge thanks to Alec Sulkin Julius Sharpe and Janice Cruz Brooks for having me on.
itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZS…

If aliens come to earth, we should just play them Roundabout by Yes. Guaranteed they’d just leave confused.

Bachelor host: Tonight, we will make history.

Me: Settle down.

(90 minutes later)

Me: Well I’ll be damned…

RFK Jr sounds like a ransom call.

I love when my wife and I are having sex and she says “deeper!” like I’m holding back.

I love the chain link fence up against the cliffs on the Pacific Coast Highway. Like yeah, that should hold the continent.

“Guys, I’ve written a sci-fi novel called Dune. It’s full of strange new worlds, ships, and people. You’ve NEVER seen anything like it! Prepare to have your mind blown!”

“Cool! What’s the main character’s name?”

“Paul.”

Gerund + Girl Name = Hallmark Movie

For those of you who don’t know the highways around LA, the 10 is a retired studio exec. The 101 is an older agent who never made partner. The 405 is River’s last night at the Viper Room.

God, I wish one of Jason Bourne’s passports was for Will Hunting.

We should throw a parade for that Dunkin ad. #bostonstrong

Somewhere between nothing and the MRI was the casual two-finger-tap exam.

I love when people say “we’re all adults here”. Speak for yourself.

First ever colonoscopy Monday. Anxious to put it behind me.

Have my first colonoscopy on Monday. Thank God I went to prep stool.

Montana IS in the building…

I’m no longer buying what I read vis-a-vis airbenders. There always seem to be more.

The Buffalo Bills are moving their playoff game from Sunday to Monday due to a snowstorm. Buncha snowflakes.

Getting my yearly physical like I do every decade.