I envy the forty percent of people out there living without an inner monologue.

No one:

My brain: i wonder if the Mayo Clinic serves more than one type of mayo

I am tired,

I’m missing Limewire and burning cds today.

Why is everyone so thirsty today?

Sorry I’m late, TurboTax had 4,351,226 more questions that didn’t apply to me.

✨H O T D O G S✨I N✨B I O✨

Celebrating 22 years with my kidney transplant today. Eternally grateful to my donor. ❤️

Bang-up job you’re doin there Greg Abbott

Looking for an affordable vacation to the Bermuda Triangle

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
~ Kurt Vonnegut

Daughter: How do you like your eggs?

Me: In a cake.

Have you ever “seen red” when you were angry? I have red lines in my vision, but now I’m curious.