(David Attenborough voice) ‘Here we see some clickbait in its natural habitat’…

Lovely to share some memories with my old chum. ☺️. Take a listen this weekend whilst you’re sweeping behind the fridge.

Gutted for Phil. Fellow Bognor boy. I guess he’s (wait for it)… having to eat humble pie 🥧 #TheApprentice

Looking forward to joining the fab team Virgin Radio UK for Virgin Radio Anthems weekend breakfast 🥞 🍳 📻 virginradio.co.uk/entertainment/…

This dog in those frescos they’ve discovered in Pompeii is my spirit animal!

Boris Johnson congratulates him for siring almost as many offspring as him.

Went to see the new Omen movie (not a patch on the original). There was some demonic snoring coming from behind me, thought it was the surround sound. Turns out it was a fella having a nap. Some tutting didn’t do the trick, so had to resort to chucking a couple of bits of popcorn

I guess a ‘low speed touching of wingtips, which happened not on the runway, but next to the terminal with one of the planes being empty of passengers’ isn’t such a dramatic headline.

WhatsUp with WhatsApp? Imagine all of the Government business that’s being held up.

Final show Greatest Shits Radio today. Thanks for all of the lovely messages. Let’s see the old girl off in style ❤️ x

So let me get this right. The new England kit has a hot cross bun on it?

Is it just me or is there more spam on this thing now than a WWII ration list?

Some will call this bake news.

Presumably the new Bond’s first mission will be to find a missing princess?

I suppose it’s one way to avoid fixing potholes.

I’ve a feeling they’ll run out of Guinness this weekend!

Ugh can’t wait to get over the stress of not being able to order a McDonalds this week, with some nice biscuits in my Sainsbury’s delivery. Wait … what?

This is top story on the friggin’ Six o’clock news 🤦‍♂️

Well I think the first day in the new job as chief photo editor for Kensington Palace has gone ok.

Found this at my Mum’s 😳