Trump didn't attend Fredo, Ivanka, Beavis or Tiff's graduations, but now suddenly he's crying he can't attend Barrons, who's mother nursed him while he banged a porn star he then paid off. #TrumpTrial

Yesterday they didn't know what Prominence, Baily's Beads or a corona is, yet today every second fucking person is an #Eclipse2024 expert. Fuck off.

If Trump is so wealthy - $9.8 billion according to his pigeons, why isn't he giving out those $60 Bibles for free? You know, seeing as he's a 'Christian'.

Apparently, Donald Trump is now worth $9.8 billion. Yet, he's currently on Truth Social peddling 'Trump endorsed' bibles for $80 to the cult. #TrumpIsBroke

Didn't Trump claim he'd 'wiped out ISIS'?

There's absolutely no evidence Matt Gaetz dresses donkeys up in cheerleader outfits and fucks them. However, there's no evidence that he doesn't either.

Womp womp, Matt Gaetz was subpoenaed to sit a deposition in a civil lawsuit which alleges he had sex with an underage girl.

If Clarence Thomas won't recuse himself from Trump's BS 'absolute immunity' Supreme Court hearing, then Jack Smith and his team need to indict Ginni Thomas for her part in the fake electors scheme. Don't think for a moment Republicans wouldn't do likewise.

Apparently, each week Donald Trump receives, by post, two shoe boxes, with a shit in each box.

What I want to know is, who's sending him the second one? 🤔

I'm several hundred miles from Mar-a-Lago, but pretty sure I just heard Trump screaming, 'fcken Colorado. RIGGED!'

The late, great, Anthony Bourdain, once said - 'Once you've been to Cambodia, you'll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands.'

Who wears the higher heels?

Trump's been flipped off countless times - scant reaction. For some reason MAGA world is now having a meltdown because Bill Burr's wife flipped Trump off. I wonder why🤔

Alina Habba is basically Jenna Ellis, but without the actual traffic lawyer qualification.

Breaking: Marjorie Taylor Greene finally knows what 'censure' means, after being shown a dictionary, spending hours with a linguistics professor and watching a glove puppet show called 'what does censure mean', twice.

Trump should be delighted Ivanka is subpoenaed to testify in his civil fraud trial.

At long last, she's going to screw him.

Thoughts and prayers to Steve Scalise's never to be paid bar tab.

Fun fact: no other US president, ever, has had to pose for a mugshot.

Kevin McCarthy - weakest House Speaker ever.