It's the Rwanda vote today & my pop up shop is open for business today within the Houses of Parliament

I have a selection of authentic Rwandan vegan delicacies, beautiful Rwandan scarves, flags & even mobile phone cases

All sales go towards our election deposit losses

Cazza 💋

We don’t have global climate crisis. We have mental health crisis.

Dear Diary,
Today my fake husband did some embezzling while I watched. We both had a good laugh. I'm resigning before the cops investigate and handing Scotland over to a known terrorist supporter with a dodgy brother-in-law.
Signed,
Nippy Splurgeon
Campervan owner & Crimelord

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Has Angela “The Growler” Rayner gone yet? Here’s hoping eh Keir Starmer #FFS #NeverLabour

I was marvellous on Channel 4 News last night, discussing Angie Rayner's tax saga

I was quite clear to Krishnan Leftie Guru that the best way to avoid capital gains is to put the rent money in your back pocket & to register your property empire in Monaco or the Caymens

Cazza 💋

Labour cracking down on tax Dodgers 🤦🏻‍♂️

I've taken a Saturday job on the beauty counter at John Lewis. They said that their brand wasn't woke enough and so they were delighted when I said I would put a few shifts in to steer them in the right direction

My first job was to remove all the oil based lipsticks

Cazza 💋

Woke Watch 2:
Another hashtag coming
Iceland's ticked off for its crossless buns
Christian origins snubbed by Iceland instead virtual signaling to a tick The United Kingdom is one of the most embarrassing countries in Europe right now and Iceland isn't helping
#BoycottIceland

Cazza Pmsl 🤣

So, Reform UK is the latest group to be slapped with the label ‘far right’. It is a ridiculous charge and shows how deeply the phenomenon of linguistic inflation has taken hold. We need a concerted pushback against this nonsense. My latest. ⬇️ paulembery.com/p/how-everythi…

I don’t like using the word CUNT but the person who threw white paint all over the new Banksy painting of the tree in Islington, you are a CUNT. No other word for you.

Yeah…
Sorry…
Got nothing this beautiful Monday.

What a joke. ITV News having a go at GB News based on Ofcom findings about impartiality with MPs but then wheel out the previous head of Channel 4 news as if they are a pillar of impartiality. You won’t find more left wing biased news than channel 4 ffs. 🤦‍♂️

Me, Babestation Alex & Brenda are just having a quick fag behind the bus, before this mornings Cult Sermon starts at the Brighton Metropolitan Community Church of Our Saviour Dale Vince

Anna's providing communion wine, but she's still waiting on her Sainsburys delivery

Cazza 💋

You cannot polish a turd. In the political turd stakes this goon is as honking as they come.

It was time

We had no one to look after her
Meals on Wheels stopped their vegan range
No one would vote for her

So I've dropped Molly off at a convent in West Somerset to take a vow of chastity & silence for the rest of her days

She thinks it's a health farm weekend

Cazza 💋

Be very afraid. This is what Labour will do. Where do you think the money will come from? You and your pension scheme. It’s a bloody cash grab. Voting Labour is like turkeys voting for
Christmas. Don’t do it ffs. Vote anything but Labour. #NeverLabour