WAS THE MITOCHONDRIA A MYTH?!?

DeafontheUpside the ben keeps the flores Jax ⚡️Philosopher Queen All the textbooks were paid for by Big Mitichondria

Immigration: have you come in contact with animals before traveling back to the United States

Me: nope

(24 hours before boarding the plane):

Was that an earthquake?!??

Watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with my son

4 yo: all those kids dead?

Me: no! The Oompa Loompas are going to fix them right up!

4yo (with a mixture of sympathy and contempt): Mama… no way. They dead-dead.

He has a point.

United Healthcare Oxford is straight up stealing from members and providers by making it so hard to get reimbursed for claims. What can be done about this?

The Ozempic craze proves that the “body positive” movement was a sham

Never ever ever leaving the internet

Kate Middleton Kate Middleton
before Jan ’24: after Jan ’24:

What in the 90s hell

Out for drinks and my friend doesn’t know the Kate Middleton situation how do I catch her up

4 years ago I left work and told my co-workers I would see them in two weeks. Haven’t seen them since.

But has anyone asked the Don’t Fuck With Cats lady to get on this?

Anytime I get a “should we have another baby” feeling, I shop trips to Europe until it passes

We had dinner with my entire family tonight and in the middle of it I discovered they didn't know anything about the Wonka Experience or the Kate Middleton Crisis. I've never been more prepared to rise to the occasion. I should get an Emmy for my performance. I had chills.