*This* has just happened 😁 Obrigado, Mythic Picnic

It’s been called Robin Hood meets Don Quixote meets Erin Brockovich meets Wreck-it Ralph in Office Space.

(sure, it was just me who called it that, but still….)

If it feels like your life is passing you by too fast, just put something in the microwave.

Maybe Medusa was so pissed off all the time because she had a lot of really bad hair days in a row.

Can you tell us more about this six-year period on your resume where you've only got 'Crime solving drifter'?

Write it out. Let it go.

There’s a pond across from my office & everyday a lunch a woman sits on the roof of her car & reads a book. I’ve never wanted to make friends with a complete stranger more

Clearly the answer is more bookcases not fewer books.

Things that no longer interest me:

1. Driving at night
2. Leaving the house at night
3. Driving in the winter
4. Leaving the house in the winter
5. Driving
6. Leaving the house

The internet is over. Books are back. Pass it on.

Me, with bookshelves full of books but no new book: I have nothing to read

Me, needing to clear space on bookshelves: I’m definitely going to read all these again

go outside and read a book if you're not going to behave

Get someone in your party who rolled like a 17 on knowing the difference between a metaphor and a simile

Forgetting took books from the library and put them on private shelves. Pretend to be late for the fines, pretend to need upstairs to jog a literary reference for a dinner party either way, forgetting gets paid. Forgetting and books man, the quietest racket.

Suddenly there's a toddler next to you. What does it want? You give it your business card.

It’s not the blood and amphibian parts that turn me off magic potions; it’s the never being allowed to improvise.

I saw a commercial for the movie The Exorcism and I’m jealous of that devil’s spine crack.

I’m listening to a woman named Carrie Lynn Bear Chief from the Blackfeet Nation tell stories about bigfoot and her telling is so detailed and so funny and her cadence is like slow water running over rocks and I am so drawn in I hope she never stops

The only time I go to Mass now is for weddings or funerals. After the Lord’s Prayer I just mumble Steely Dan lyrics.

I thought,
if a great whale swallowed us,

we could just build a fire, make it sneeze us
back out frothing horses and fish still
swimming around and shit.

But legend has it, we can’t.

We’ll just sink here,
like a brig,
realising we aren’t captain material.

#vss365 #whistpr