SCOTLAND! I have missed you so coming up next week. Check out this great line-up bigfabcomedyshow.com @guildedballoon #bigfabcomedyshow #stirling #inverness

Had fun at the glorious Helen Lederer 's book launch. (She called me 'fresh' in her speech, which is going on my next poster. And my gravestone) Ria Lina ⚜️ Samantha Baines👑 and so many lovely folk were there to support this brilliant queen of comedy. Treat yourselves!

Jason Manford You're not wrong, Jason, it's a real issue. We're doing what we can to provide affordable accommodation and other support for artists, including our new Keep it Fringe fund - would be great if you could RT this and spread the word, it's open to everyone! edfringe.com/learn/news-and…

I met quite a few non muslim friends and neighbours out and about today who wished me 'Eid Mubarak' It was sweet but also highlighted how THEY DON'T LISTEN TO A WORD I SAY 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Anyway. Eid Mubarak to all actual muslims

I loved talked to Steve Best . Checkout his YouTube channel, like/subscribe and all of that! I LOVE the pics ( hair and make up by ME because I hate a fuss) youtu.be/efOE4n6ii9w

Mahbod Moghadam. An absolute one off. Our insanely clever, funny young friend from L.A. I'm so thankful for the mad chats and bongs made from lemons. Huge love to his wonderful family. genius.com/Mahbod-moghada…

The faaaaantastic Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی did an interview for my YouTube channel SteveBestShoots. Here's a taster. It's fab! Full episode soon youtube.com/@SteveBestShoo…

The pretend @edreams reassuring me that the man on the phone trying to get me to send a grand to an account in Kenya, WorldRemit need to put up a scammers warning. I was stressed and thought they were genuinely edreams for WAY too long!

I posted this...scammers immediately set up accounts pretending to be
@edreams
&
@icelandair
.I totally missed the different spellings! Gave them my number and a guy called me to get me to download
WorldRemit
to 'cancel and rebook flights' by sending money to Kenya!

Thanks for refunding my 'please let me sit next to my daughter' seat reservation money eDreams Icelandair ...kind of wish I'd known 'we might not be able to sit you together' before I booked. The plane chat is part of the excitement and also, SHE IS TEN!!!

One day I will get to sit on my new sofa. One day.

Those people whose dogs curl up to them all cosy on the sofa when they watch TV...I envy them.

Exactly this. The woman had a baby crying in the background, she had English as additional language and i am forced to report 'issue wasn't resolved' which feels like betrayal to another working mum

I wrote this message while the woman put me on hold after I pleaded with her to help. When she came back, I heard a baby. This was a mum wfh. The survey we are asked after such a call when a woman is juggling, is unfair.

Me: 'hello. Im renewing my daughters passport online and its not recognising her D.O.B
UKPassportRenewal: that's rare. Try again. Call back if there's a problem.
Me: no, please, I tried 5 times. Please help.
UKPassportRenewal: Well just try.

She's not leaving the UK is she?

My daughter and I are spending the afternoon grafting: painting garden wall, clearing out shed and drilling in hooks and shelving. Son is cooking roast with tons of fancy veg.My life's work is done.

About 7 different flower seeds, plonked willy nilly. Haven't labeled anything. Looking forward to my invite to the Chelsea Flower Show.

Why do people find gardening relaxing? I've just lost my shit with a load of dizzy lizzies and called them all w*nkers.

I love this clip Esther has chosen. Me desperately wanting to leap in with my own chat and forcing myself not to by pinching my skin. Sexy.

65 days sober. My liver has so much free time now. I imagine it's joined a pottery class or maybe doing an open university course.