Hey ABC 7 Chicago I did not need Jeopardy! interrupted for this infographic about the rarity of different hail sizes. You’ve lost me as a viewer and I’m a stupid rube in a desirable demographic that buys every single thing advertisers tell me to #thissucks #yousuck #dieabc7chicago

I knew Will Carsola was weird as hell but this is some next level shit right here. I'm just watching on repeat. So goddamn awesome. And thanks for featuring my new book 'how to be normal' in this peek into murder man's story.

The real miracle whip is the cart that brought Joseph and Mary to that I’m in Bethlehem

These are truly the heroes of our time

A beautiful woman just asked me “what’s a sensei” and I replied “a sense Is the guy that runs the dojo” and I’ve never felt more fuckable

Sometimes you gotta play a one-off gig in New Orleans real quick, because you realize that like some sort of absolute fool, you’ve never been to New Orleans. See you in a couple months! Bring us your veganest beignets and above-groundest corpses!

Hey! I’m beex!

You guys like parties? 'Cuz tomorrow we are announcing the first of our #RS20 parties. 🍻

Someone stole this out of my house. It is a one sided 12” w no grooves on side 2. I was 12 when I bought it for 20 bucks which was an insane amount of money for a record for a 12 yr old in 1988. I noticed someone stole it last year. If it was you pls give it back. 😖

We don't talk enough about the internet gave us the word scroll as a verb

More like diesman trophy winner oj Simpson

Working on A screenplay about the guy from everclear’s death rocking the creative world to its core called Art Is Dead

Our dude @BadSandwich is headed out East this Summer for a steamy weekender (Beexender?) that ends up in DC. They're gonna need to drain the swamp all over again. @HeartnLungBand joining the mission!

As always, ticket links are over at REDSCARE.NET. Get to a gig!

Hey we're opening for Brendan Kelly: Juggalo on Saturday, August 10th at Cattivo. I hope you're stoked, because we are. Could see this one selling out ahead of time? …kellypittsburgh.brownpapertickets.com

As an envoy for @redscare I'm proud to announce our newest band. These young punks are the future of culture, whether you like it or not so get on board or get crushed by their bold 'take no prisoners' punk paradigm youtube.com/watch?v=7kDeHA…

Destiny potato

One time my friend opened for the Ataris and opened his set with a cover of boys of summer and I think that might be the funniest thing that has ever happened

William really has bad luck when it comes to princesses of wales huh?

These 5 songs that held us over til metropole didn’t have to go this hard. GOATed album art too. The Lawrence Arms Brendan Kelly: Juggalo

I feel like Shaun Evans and I should be friends. Not like 'I think we'd get along,' More like I feel like we should already be friends. This is a 'according to my notes we should already be old buds' thing not a man crush thing, though he is great at his job.