A woman at my gig last night said 'I wish I was as brave as you! I could never dye my hair blue!'. I told her she could. 'Maybe for my 70th birthday' she said. 'Or tomorrow?' I suggested.

Her 40 year old daughter DMed me.

The entertainment industry: Just be yourself and have fun.

Also entertainment industry: No, not like that!

Bec Hill Happy Easter!

The opposite of the Vagina Monologues is a Cocktale.

I love it when different things in my world collide.

This time, Matt Parker is on the No Such Thing As A Fish podcast!

Following on from Bec Hill previously, this has gone full square.

Truly is a nerdy delight this morning.

Idea was: get the funny people on the catwalk...it worked :-) Harriet Kemsley Jenny Eclair Lucy Porter Bec Hill Video in making...by James Wall from Creative-Stories

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see what this is about! (Check my highlighted stories!)

In the hierarchy of who I most appreciate compliments from, random elderly ladies are top tier.
👍 they don't want anything from me
👍 they chose to use up some of their limited time to say something nice to me
👍 they sometimes have mints in their pockets

scifi is bleep blorp and fantasy is all bibidi babidi boo

Just to confirm the secret presale link for 23rd May’s QMT Hitchin #MostlyComedy with ROBIN INCE, BEC HILL and DAVID EPHGRAVE goes out to our mailing list tomorrow (Saturday), with the presale taking place a week later on 23rd March. Good luck, folks. mostlycomedy.co.uk

I'd like to thank the Academy #Oscars

Always nice to gain new fans 🥰

Looking for recommendations for LA-based hair and makeup artists who can work on location...

The listeners of A Problem Squared and Enemy In Paris are so different, but equally as wonderful. To have so many folks send mock-ups of how you can get identical sets of stairs from a cube, while simultaneously receiving fan art featuring gallons of milk and bucket hats is wild.

I love that for over 20 years, everyone in the planet agrees that not only is this joke funny but they keep it going too 😂

I don't think love should be unconditional.

Entry to your heart should at least be as conditional as a Pringles competition. It's worth more than a <squints at tube> ...Logitech G Cloud Handheld Gaming Device.

Rejected Pokémon

Pre-order for my next book Love Triangle are officially open! Published UK = 20 June, USA = 20 August.
Signed copies by me: mathsgear.co.uk/products/love-…
Other UK pre-orders: penguin.co.uk/books/443151/l…
Other USA pre-orders: penguinrandomhouse.com/books/672455/l…

If you could even find it…