Lovely to tread the podcast boards doing a fair to middling Australian accent for Dial F For Football.
I learnt everything I know from Neighbours at 5:30pm on BBC One, just before The Simpsons x

⚽️🚨DIAL F FOR FOOTBALL⚽️🚨

New episode available now. This week we address the dreaded topic of women in football shorturl.at/hNVX8

lolly Fergus Craig Jessica Fostekew TOUR ON SALE NOW Ed Gamble Lloyd Griffith Beth Rylance Tom Rosenthal Rhys James Tayo3000

My toxic trait is I think I should be a in a writers room just because I’m funny on text

Omg actually just heard myself blink and can confirm it’s awful x

Can anyone confirm or deny the fate of Toffee Crisp? I can’t find one anywhere. Yes this is what Twitter is for now

Just cried at the end of my own script because I put 'Strong by Robbie Williams plays', so I think we all know who hasn't left the house for two days!!!!!

Can’t believe that for one hot second Deux Moi made me believe that Michael Cera was the founder of CeraVe.
A testament to all the other hot garbage they spew out into the universe. 😎😎😎

Haven’t been able to drink fizzy rosé since we lost our Di x

I suppose in a way, aren’t we all Bella Baxter???*

*had our brains replaced with our own baby’s brain and love shaggin’.

The god’s honest truth is that whenever someone asks me to watch their laptop I actively pretend it doesn’t exist 😘

My writing process feels a lot like the everlasting gobstopper machine in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, except the ingredients that go into it are anxiety and complex ptsd and what comes out the other end is absolutely nothing. 💖

I think the biggest indicator of imposter syndrome is when someone tries to get into the toilet cubicle you’re in and you panic refer to yourself in the third person and say ‘Someone’s in here!’ like you don’t even know it’s you

I’ve been saying this for a very long time, The police don’t have to automatically record or stare information about serial domestic abusers or stalkers - so they don’t. Sign the petition to make this happen change.org/p/include-seri…

One thing I’ll say for the Christmas Holidays is my Grandma’s accessible shower is incredibly good for shaving my legs in.

I’m calling it early: it’s lip balm season, boys!!!!!

My top tip for writing? I usually sit and free write around 400-500 words a day on the quality of the table I'm sat at and if it's wobbly or not ;')

You know you’re having a bad day when you’re considering buying 2000 entries to the Raffle House draw

Would you believe I’d never seen a single episode of reality tv before writing this? Yeah, me neither lol