did germs write this

We should form a strategic alliance with raspberries. And explore further opportunities with other fruit. Fuck kumquats, though. I don't trust them.

Neither does having your hair cut or wearing clothes or avoiding going up to strangers and telling them that aliens stole your genitals and all strawberries are sentient, but Imma keep on doing all three of those, too.

It's kind of a remarkable achievement that despite spending most days sitting in a room with Clarence Thomas, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh and John Roberts, Samuel Alito *still* consistently manages to be the biggest prick in the room.

Absolutely incredible thread. Read if you have time - it’s long, but worth it.

This made me laugh so loudly it scared my cat. Truth, right here.

Don’t sleep on how insane this is

He’s on trial facing criminal charges in NYC, his other lawyers in DC are arguing that he’s above the law, and he was just named a co-conspirator in AZ & MI for conspiring to commit election fraud.

And my former Republican colleagues either defend him or stay silent. Cowards.

Here is the president’s lawyer assuring someone who he’s in a criminal conspiracy with, that the president is so corrupt that he will allow him to get away with it.

I just feel like this needs to be said once again today: Donald Trump is the only president in American history who lost an election and refused to concede and refused to participate in the peaceful transfer of power. He’s the only one.

Don’t ever forget this.

But sure, let's let him run for President again. What could go wrong with telling a guy who does crimes that it's okay for him to do crimes? That's BOUND to end well.

This made me laugh so loudly it scared my cat. Truth, right here.

Trump is holding a rally next week at this airport hanger in Michigan. Saves money.

Joe Biden. Good at being President.

washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/…

Also, pubs stayed open in England during the Blitz, you fucking clown. This is a tribute to resilience. Grow up.

Poetic justice! Tweet of the day!

Michael Marshall Smith I love to read, always have. In my teens, I often found myself with 2 or 3 books on the go, & a few set aside. I made a promise to myself - if I read the first page because it held my interest, I had to finish it.
Hence, I've read a ton of terrible books with good first pages.