Jamaican Cat Burglars are easily deterred.
They dread Locks.

#LunchPun

NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens.

They're calling it the Apollo G.

NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens.

They're calling it the Apollo G.

My favourite event at the Tea Drinkers' Olympics is the Decaf Oolong.

#GNUTerryPratchett #TerryPratchettDay

What mountain got a 100% on the exam?

Mount Cleverest.

We should be able to call in healthy: “I'm not coming in today. I feel really good and I don't want to waste it on being at work.”

Boyfriend: “you know those octopuses that can fit through the teeniest tiniest holes? They can escape ANYTHING with a tiny bit space. You’re like that but with cancelling plans”.

Proud moment.

What’s it called when two Rachels get married?

An interrachel marriage.

Dad jokes leave me numb.

But math jokes leave me number.

level 100 strategy

You are not prepared for how this guy pronounces Schweppes. 😭

You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

What do you call a dinosaur without gold?

A dinosr.

A dragon would never explode.

But a dino might.

Wow incredible magic. 😂

I saw my wife putting on her sexy underwear this morning. This can only mean one thing.

It’s laundry day.

Why isn't holy water used in vaccines?

Because you shouldn't use the lord's name in vein...

Just thought I'd let everybody know that I passed my paintball exam with flying colors.

Bored? Need a new hobby? I have some racing geese for sale..

Let me know if you want a quick gander..

#mondaymirth