Barking up the wrong tree 🌲🐕👩🌲😄
'Hello! Hello! Hello!' 🌲🗨️🐕👩
#MondayFunday #MondayMotivation #Mondayvibes #MondayMorning #MondayMirth

#MondayMirth

Starring Zach Braff (star of GARDEN STATE) as J.D.
Sarah Chalke (TV's ROSEANNE) as Eliott,
Donald Faison (CLUELESS) as Turk.
Scrubs THE COMPLETE THIRD SERIES Season 3 (DVD, 2006) 4 Discs Comedy £1.50 ebay.co.uk/itm/2858145413… #eBay via eBay UK #mondaymirth #ebayfinds #eBay Deals

This morning someone called me fat.
I didn’t respond
because I’m bigger than that!!
#mondaymirth

Most days about 10.15 the middle of my right arm becomes very painful.
My doctor thinks I’ve got tenish elbow!!
#mondaymirth

What do strippers say at the end of the night?

Sorry, we're clothed now

😂🤣 #MondayMirth

Q: What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?

A: An egg!

#Mondaymirth

Sad news about the painter and decorator who died of hyperthermia whilst trekking in Antarctica.
Post Mortem results have shown that he could have done with a second coat.
#mondaymirth

Decided to leave my job at the cat sanctuary today.

They reduced meowers

😂🤣 #MondayMirth

Doctor: I have your test results.

Me: Did I pass? hahaha.

Doctor: Hahaha you will soon.

Me: Haha what.

#MondayMirth

Do you want to go to that racecourse in Liverpool this weekend?

Ascott?

I did, but he's busy.

#Mondaymirth

If any locksmiths want to come and have a chat about which brand I should fit, my door is always open…

#LunchPun
#mondaymirth

#mondaymirth

Teacher “define cursory”

Me “a place where children learn to swear”

I might start distilling my own label
gin in the shed, but still ...
#mondaymirth #LunchPun

I went to my doctor to see if he could prescribe me something for kleptomania..

He said 'Sure, take this.'

#MondayMirth

'Was it you that put ice in my wife's underwear?'

I shook my head, “No.”

'It was you! You did it!' he yelled.

I replied, 'I swear!”

He said, 'In her underwear, I just told you.'

#MondayMirth

Boris: Pixar just started up a new chain restaurant.
Kelvin: Oh, I love Pixar movies. What is it called?
Boris: C.G.I. Fridays.
#MondayMirth 🍸

My Wife and I were recommended to try a sperm donor, but it was no good

Next time I'm sticking to my regular kebab

#MondayMirth #RateMyPun #LunchPun

Me: What do you call it when a Tesla crashes and wraps itself around a telephone pole?
Frank: A Tesla Coil.
#MondayMirth 🍸

A thief has stolen the letter F from a sign at the local Funfair this morning .
A spokesperson said ' It's so unfair '

#Mondaymirth