My firstborn is non-binary; my younger one pointed out (rather wisely, I thought) that the word “sibling” just isn’t imbued with the same love that brother and sister hold. It’s more … governmenty. Any alternatives?

I left Scotland 35 years ago and didn't have a strong accent when I left. I now speak fully RP but I do stumble before the phrase 'good food' (do they rhyme???) and when talking about the sport of 'curling' which is pronounced differently from the thing you do to your hair.

ALTERED STATE - BANK HOLIDAY SALE

Tenner a ticket until midnight Monday

Makes a change from flipping soggy BBQ in the bank holiday rain

Ticket offer live on headfirstbristol.co.uk/whats-on/hen-c…

Louise Leigh Distracted at Brighton Fringe 10/5 Joy Carey Catherine withers Johnathan Napier freestylebristol Hen&Chicken-Bristol

Antiques Roadshow is like p0rn, isn't it? We don't really care about the story. Blah blah yeah your neighbour gave it to your stepmum, we just want the money shot.

We are now at a point where the media has largely been captured, regulators have been captured, right to protest has been significantly curtailed and minorities are being singled out and attacked by our government. At what point do we call this what it is?

Press release for our May 16 talk OLD McDONALD'S HAD A FARM - THE POLITICS OF FOOD w/ Joy Carey Catherine withers Johnathan Napier & host Louise Leigh Distracted at Brighton Fringe 10/5

alteredstate.org.uk/about-5-1

#bristol #talks #bristol talks #bedminster #southville #bs3 #food #politicsoffood #alteredstate

I never met the man in question but I have heard/read so many wonderful tributes to him. This is a beaut. May we all be remembered like this.

I qualify for this grant, but I glanced at it and said 'not for me' because I don't fucking look like that. And actually, whose self image looks like that?

You can't handle the tooth!

(Is this anything?)

If, like me, you are blessed with corned beef cankles, I think I might have found the solution for S/S24. Form an orderly queue.

Do you like to laugh? Do you like Devon? Do you like summer? Exeter Comedy Festival is happening on 7th & 8th June and it is going to be good for any one who likes at least 1/3 of laugh, Devon, summer
Line up here: exetercomedyfestival.com

I haven't done enough work today, but I have scrubbed my catflap and the rubbery flange round the door of my dishwasher. Surely that counts as an achievement.

Joke that doesn't really work written down:

Q. What's the difference between old and new?
A. I've never seen your mum at the oldest colony.

We've been made Headfirst Editor's Pick!

'A sanity-saving deep dive for optimists and pessimists alike into the inner-workings and dizzying applications of artificial intelligence. Featuring a panel of real human brains from corporate AI, science fiction and academic research '.

Theatre tickets that cost over £50 what’s that about lol my friend just asked if I wanted to go see Tom Holland in Romeo and Juliet for £275. You could see genuine national treasures doing standup for under £20 just a thought

What a first class lineup this Friday!

⭐️Alex Kealy (Mock The Week writer)
⭐️Louise Leigh (Funny Women Regional Finalist)
⭐️Jake Baker (3 x BBC New Comedy Award nominee)
⭐️Aideen McQueen (top Irish stand up comedian)
⭐️Award winning MC, Stephen Grant 🎤

Book your tickets now 🎟️