Dominic Cummings
@DominicCumins
BoJo’s best bud, bus lie writer, government tinkerer, not Benedict Cumberbatch #voteleave #fakenews
ID:1190628114554114048
02-11-2019 13:54:09
575 Tweets
8,2K Followers
54 Following
Today I’m going to send the thank you card that Boris Johnson sent me for popping down to M&S to get a Colin The Caterpillar for his #birthdayvash to @suegrayinvestigates
Today I’ll be getting the ‘free booze here’ banner out of my box to send to @suegrayinvestigates #cashingout
I warned Boris Johnson many times the ‘nobody told me’ was not a three word slogan that was going to work #buildbackbatter
Ok it’s true Boris Johnson was a bit worried about the party but when I showed him the ‘free booze here’ banner I had printed using Rishi Sunak’s credit card he went for it
I told Boris Johnson that ‘Bring Your Own Bottle’ wouldn’t work and that a standard three word slogan: ‘Free garden bar’ would be better. #stayathome
Just to set the record straight, what you see here is part of my masterplan, it’s not actually me in this pic, it’s James Cleverly🇬🇧 in a bald wig. I was in number 11 holding Priti Patel MP’s broomstick while she took the picture. #CashingOut
Just off down to @LidlGB to get some mince pies for Nigel Farage’s inappropriate Christmas party #slummingit
Was that my trip to Oddbins to get the booze for the Downing Street summer party that never happened that you you’re referring to Laura Kuenssberg ?
Oops, starting to worry if @borisjohnson’s idea to write lies on buses was such a good one #voteleave
Today I’ve released the text messages where @borisjohnson said #fuckandbugger to Matt Hancock #strongandsweary
Now I’ve got to go and tell a bunch of The Labour Party MPs that I told Boris Johnson to say that he didn’t care if the Labour voting pensioners died again #handsfacespace #embarrassing
Today I’ll be publishing the e-mail chain where Boris Johnson was asking Matt Hancock if he was allowed to lick the doorknobs yet #handsfacespace
I can help you, just need to organise something that Priti Patel MP thinks will make it look like she cares by attending
For the record, I was just doing a poor people report for Nigel Farage on the way back from #BarnardCastle
Just to get the story straight, I told Boris Johnson to say ‘I don’t care if all the Labour voting pensioners die’ but he somehow managed to mangle it #notmyfault
Today I’ll be releasing the text conversation where Jacob Rees-Mogg mistakes James Cleverly🇬🇧 for a shoe shine boy and cries off to Nanny when he realises his ‘transgression’, standby poor people!
Today I’ll be releasing the text conversation where I told Boris Johnson to get a haircut months ago